dunk tank because we're dunking on this lady's baby daddy
this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2023
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the_dunk_tank
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It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
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I was a bit rude too, possibly because I hold some self-resentment myself, but also I've had to derive my own methods for dealing with things, and tend to feel like we don't talk the "what next"s enough.
It feels good to be given the space to be a bit special and have needs accounted for, but i've found it all goes out the window when you need to go out and do things. Every time I've given myself that space, I take it for granted and have an even harder time participating in "normal" spaces, which hurts even more than if I just kept up the momentum. I can't expect the people I meet in day to day life to have a grasp on my condition. They've got other stuff going on. The "normal" spaces will always exist to an extent. Someone working 10 hours a day out of the back of a van won't have the energy or care to educate themselves on conditions unless its personal.
Like I think as a community we should have more people offering help to break certain comfort-based cycles. Addiction is the same for anything, and you need to want to break the cycle to get better. I don't think we should shame people for being addicted, but we should still encourage improvement. When I see sentiments that are basically "its okay" without the second step, it makes me feel frustrated because having a safe space wont help me the next time I piss someone off for being a little too autistic. I need to catch it ahead of time and understand myself better to interface with the rest of the world.
Wholesome moment at the end of a frustrating interaction
I always want to keep it wholesome here. I don't want my bear site to become a bad site.
I don’t think you were too rude, but I don’t know what rude is, i'm too autistic.
I understand your feelings and think they’re valid, but I feel like a decent chunk of this is a pretty self-blaming… I don’t know how to put it, but culturally, it’s not an immutable fact of life that people jump to conclusions about why others do things. In this sense, I disagree that “normal” spaces will always exist, because human beings are very mutable. And if they aren’t, we will make them mutable
I think, under capital, it is both understandable and practical to desire to have actual advice from fellow neurodivergent comrades rather than “it’s ok”, but the world we live in is not a just one and is not the one we will always have. We should keep in mind the limitations we have right now, yes, but this will not be how it is forever, nor should it be.
The amount of demand placed on the neurodivergent, let alone the neurodivergent who are also addicted to something, is absurd, and only seems reasonable because the demands put on most people are already absurd.
While it is superficially true that you have to want to overcome an addiction, that alone is hilariously insufficient, and in the case of ADHD people addicted to social media, I have never heard of an instance of someone not wanting to.
The reason why people say “it’s ok” isn’t because they think it’s ok to be addicted to social media, but because the mindset that we’ve created around addiction and neurodivergent addiction is deeply toxic and harmful, and people want to combat that. We treat it as this fault caused by immutable personal traits, or worse, a random happenstance that has no social or material context to it. We blame the addicted individual for every aspect of what they are experiencing, when the truth of addiction is quite the opposite; they have very little direct control over what they are going through.
I don’t think comfort is the issue at all. The issue is that we’ve made addiction comfortable in the first place. We (society
) make addiction comfortable, then judge others for getting addicted. How fucked up is that?
And, in cases outside of addiction, or even things that we perceive as obsessive but really aren’t (IE: special interest in something like fish idk), “it’s ok” is a revolutionary statement. It is a belief that, even if no one will ever accept us for who we are and what we do, that we will continue to be ourselves and force them to do so. In that case, qualifying it merely muddies the message, diluted the subversive implications.