this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2023
296 points (99.0% liked)

Not The Onion

12313 readers
571 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Police closed off a road for two days to investigate a report of a dead body dumped in woods - only to find out it was a discarded sex doll.

Warwickshire Police said it was with “great relief” that the hand and foot spotted poking out of undergrowth turned out to be an inflatable love aid.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Wait, nobody bothered to verify it was someone dead?

That's the dumb part. You check to see if the body is dead. Jfc.

[–] Tvkan@feddit.de 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"No pulse, no breathing, no cranial nerve reflexes – this woman is quite obviously dead."

[–] kambusha@feddit.ch 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Looks surprised by her death too

[–] Jerb322@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Someone slapped her on the back when she was making that face.

[–] Theharpyeagle@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Honestly, though 31 hours seems a bit excessive, I don't blame them for being cautious. If it was a body, they'd be smart to document everything in the area and carefully navigate so as not to contaminate the crime scene. Lots of important evidence could be destroyed by someone just walking up and moving the body.

I'd rather them be careful and thorough with what turns out to be a sex doll than be callous and clumsy with an actual body.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

They could have just poked it with a damn stick of they were so confused, geez.