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Would a federated dating site work well? What would it look like? (startrek.website)

submitted 1 year ago by swab148@startrek.website to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Basically title, every bit of online dating nowadays is either Match or Meta, and we're all about breaking corporate chains right?

So these are the thoughts I had:

Matches based on simple user selection: age range, lifestyle, hobbies etc. None of that dumb algorithm stuff that makes you reset your profile every month.
ActivityPub protocol so that anyone can run their own instance, but can also be blocked if anything heinous happens.
E2EE for messaging (and anything else if it's possible).
Someone wrote an open-source anti-CSAM script for Lemmy recently, I hope we could adapt that to our use.
Just, like, everyone have a good time on this app, we're here for love lol

I am not a coder, so I would have no idea how to do this, but I wonder about the interest in such a creation. Maybe some of you out there could make something I could use to get a date (pls).

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[–] squirrel@discuss.tchncs.de 34 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I don't think it federates, but there's Alovoa, an open source dating platform.

[–] AlolanYoda@mander.xyz 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You know, I am single and have been curious about dating apps for a while. But I never really got over the hurdle of making a profile because of how much of a hellscape it seems. I may be curious enough to make a profile in this website tonight (fully expecting 0 users in my entire country)

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I took the leap last year into algorithmic dating, and it's been a great experience. Go in with no expectations just try to have as much fun, delight, conversation, wonder as possible and roll with the punches. There is always an adventure waiting.

I've meet with people all over, done little adventures, and got good friends out of it, and even some romance. Toally worth it to explore.

[–] AlolanYoda@mander.xyz 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When you say algorithmic dating, did you try multiple apps or just one? Did you have more positive experiences with any one app?

I may do it, but I'm a bit shy about the account creation part, specifically having to take pictures of myself which are not terrible. I feel like I'm decently attractive, but I hate all pictures of me. I think this is honestly my biggest hurdle.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 3 points 1 year ago

Tried multiple, basically it doesn't matter how good the app is, but where the people are. Different apps are popular in different places.

Everyone you haven't met is a stranger, it doesn't matter what strangers think. Just take your photos and make a profile, don't worry about it. Get the profile going and just see what happens, no pressure, all strangers anyway.

It doesn't matter if you don't like your own photos, your not trying to match with yourself. We are our own worst critics, other people are more forgiving.

[–] swab148@startrek.website 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Thanks! I'm almost wondering if a federated dating platform would even work, given the moderation challenges.

Edit: Also there were like, three women in my area, so that's problematic.

[–] AlolanYoda@mander.xyz 3 points 1 year ago

I tried it. Pretty cool, but the closest user to me was 270 km away. Maybe one day I'll meet her, but for now I guess it doesn't have critical mass for me.