this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2023
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This is really hard for me to get behind. On the one hand I can get behind the compassion and safety aspect. Addicts have a sickness and shouldn’t be treated as criminals who have no value and are disposable. On the other hand, I have personal experience with just how much damage an addict does to those around them. Enabling them to do that damage and victimize the very people who love and once trusted them with everything feels wrong.
Part of the reason drug abuse is so all consuming is because 80% of an addict’s time is spent finding it while avoiding the law. I know this from experience as a recovering opiate/heroin addict. If you had let me go down to the corner store to buy clean dope legally, not only would I have about $20,000 more to my name (from scams/thieves/short bags), I legitimately believe I would have gotten clean much sooner.
If you’re just sitting in a room with your thoughts as opposed to constantly occupied with the chase, you’re more likely to have moments of lucidity to confront how stupid and useless your life has become. I never had those thoughts when I was distracted chasing it around 24/7, only once I figured out the DNM’s
I think a lot of focus goes to the addict’s experience and how that experience impacts their life. If you limit the impact scope to the user and the consequences they face, it seems reasonable to suggest that easier access to safer substances can improve their circumstances.
What I experienced was a prolonged period of time where my wife lied, cheated, stole and shirked all responsibility for herself and our live’s together. Most critically, her substance abuse led to her neglecting and putting our young children at risk.
For my part, I did everything I could to help her recover. I encouraged her to get help without judgement. I found ways to balance taking care of the kids, taking care of her and myself, maintaining our home all while struggling to meet work expectations and fulfill my sole provider role.
Ultimately meth use led to paranoid delusions, intense fear and anger outbursts, belief in fantastical persecution conspiracy and finally distrust in me and her family. Still, I was trying to balance it all and encourage her to seek help. Instead of doing so she became violent threatened to put a knife in my throat and kill me while our children played in the other room.
We can argue about the war on drugs, the systemic failures to address mental illness and the lack of easily accessible care for people suffering addiction. But a person is still accountable for their behavior and when a substance causes them to completely lose themselves to the degree my wife did, I can’t help but feel frustration of anything that enables access to it.