this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] whileloop@lemmy.world 133 points 1 year ago (6 children)

This could be so much longer.

Killing children, class systems, so many programming language names, the ridiculous ways equality and order-of-operations are done sometimes. Plenty of recursion jokes to be made. Big O notation. Any other ideas?

[–] MxM111@kbin.social 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Hoimo@ani.social 42 points 1 year ago (2 children)

GOTO is the only thing that makes sense. It's the "high-level" concepts like for-loops, functions and list comprehension that ruined programming.

series.append(series[k-1]+series[k-2]) for k in range(2,5)]

RAVINGS DREAMT UP BY THE UTTERLY DERANGED

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I started coding with TurboBasic, which included the helpful innovation of GOTO {label} instead of GOTO {line number}, which allowed you to have marginally-better-looking code like:

GOTO bob
...
bob:
{do some useless shit}
return

which meant you essentially had actual, normal methods and you didn't have to put line numbers in front of everything. The problem was that labels (like variables) could be as long as you wanted them to be, but the compiler only looked at the first two letters. Great fun debugging that sort of nonsense.

[–] chfour@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT ONLY LOOKS AT THE FIRST TWO LETTERS WHAT

[–] Vilian@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

if goto make sense why don't you go to get some bitches

[–] newIdentity@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Because "get some bitches" is an invalid instruction

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 32 points 1 year ago

Big Orgasm notation

[–] dukk@programming.dev 19 points 1 year ago

A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors.

[–] Lightor@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Masters and slaves

Cloning

Deploying code (that's what you do with soldiers!!!1)

Using Git to rewrite history.

Atomic values (like the bomb!)

These people are madmen.

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

One of the slave node's child process failed, so the master node sent a signal to terminate the child and restart the slave

There's pretty solid reason my research group is pushing to use "head node and executor nodes" nomenclature rather than the old-school "master node and slave nodes" nomenclature, haha

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

The only reason I enjoy C++ is because I can cast destroy on children and it's parents if they're present in the world

[–] lowered_lifted@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Floating point operations with decimals not always adding up

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

They always must add up - if they added down then they wouldn't be floating points now would they!