this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2023
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Technically dying several for minutes after a stroke due to an aneurysm, worst thing I ever felt. They considered me dead, yet somehow everything restarted and I woke up gasping incapable of speech. I was thrown in an ice bath and they induced a coma. And yes, you can hear the outside world and the worst experience I’ve ever suffered mentally. I was in there for what I assumed was decades of masochist torture for realizing I wasn’t awake, despite my minds initial insistence I was. I still question if the acceptance, would have meant my dying and the torture was the pain of trying to stay alive. I eventually woke up to discover it had only been 10 days, and I was capable of basic speech, but my muscles had decayed to the point simple movement was almost impossible. In under 2 weeks, I relearned English and how to walk again. Since therapy, nothing is even remotely scaring as what your own mind can do to you.
That sounds terrible. Glad you made it through but I would think you relive that from time to time.
I have a screwed up neck so when I had a major surgery they had to intubate me (tube down the throat) while I was awake and immobilized (arms strapped down at my sides etc) for surgery. For a long time it would come back to me every time I started to fall asleep. I'm ok now but that PTSD is nothing to mess with. I don't know if I could do it again.
Thanks, yeah it was bad but over the years it stopped haunting me. Did take a while to get adjusted to reality, since in the coma it was a constant game, making me think I was awake… but, limbless, attacked or dismembered, among other things.
The days without eating weren’t too bad, it was really the removal of all the tubes like you mentioned, I was intubated and had a breathing device inserted that i apparently tried removing twice while coming out.
I kinda tried killing a nurse a few times that I was sure was attempting to kill me lol, thankfully I was so weakened I moved like a tree sloth. The worst was always catheter removal, as they always left it inflated and needed me to be awake when they pulled it out. They did it six times… my genitalia has never forgiven me. It’s even worse when they put it in if you’re alert, it feels like someone is putting a straw in.
Ha, I was still under when the catheter went in but the day it came out I had to go but could not and it drove me crazy. After a few hours nature took it's course, at it tends to do. What a relief.
I know someone who was put under like that after a surgical mishap and they definitely tried to wrestle a nurse and tear the vent out. Totally understandable and they said they expect it.