this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
1199 points (98.7% liked)
Memes
45680 readers
784 users here now
Rules:
- Be civil and nice.
- Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Well your gift is better than mine.... I'm an unwilling roach whisperer, they fly to me walk to me, crawl on me, try to snuggle under my feet even. I didn't ask for this power
I now live in a climate with HUGE roaches.
I grew up in a climate where they were rare. I never saw a roach in-person until I was in my 20s.
For the first year in my current apartment, it was rare for me to see a roach. Maybe an odd one every once in a while.
Now, I get multiple every time it rains. Which sucks on its own. But, they've all taken to the same habit of crawling up the back of my couch and staring at me 3 inches away from my face to say hello.
When this happens, I transcend beyond fear and anger and enter a blackout rampage mode. Move all my furniture. Couch cushions. Hunting until I'm absolutely certain that every single one of them is dead.
I've bought drain covers. I've bought roach traps. I've cleaned my house top-to-bottom. I've checked the seals on my door and windows. They're nowhere in sight on a dry day, but every time it rains, they're fucking back.
It's genuinely starting to fuck with my head, because whenever I see peripheral movement out of the corner of my eye in my apartment, I think it's a roach. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Are those a pair of little antennae poking out from behind my couch, or am I imagining it? I don't know until I've done yet another sweep.
It's harder to fall asleep. I keep having brief bouts of imagination wbere bugs are crawling and swarming all over me. I constantly do visual sweeps of my apartment. I can feel my stress level rising on rainy days. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
I fucking hate roaches.
I'm with you 100 % my brother, I live on an island so I experience everything you are talking about and I have the same reactions... I keep a can of Raid next to my bed.... Also i spray under my bedroom door as an initial line of defense lol. I too will move everything until I'm sure one is dead if it runs under the bed or something like that.
I love everything else about island life.
Except the fucking roaches.
I'm getting some cats this weekend and I hope they "help" my problem.
Be prepared to find parts of roaches scattered around your house. I took to putting my pants up a bit so that my cat won't leave a partially eaten roach body in my jeans as a present.
Roach whisperer, I'm pretty sure it isn't a useless super power. It mustn't be.
Once a huge roach was on the other side of the bathroom, he froze when he saw me... Too far away for me to smash him fast enough.... I talked him over to me "C'mon c'mon,. Good boy... Come here it's okay" He slowly came to me inch by inch,. Until he got right beside my foot and I only had to do a quick 6 inch stamp and bam he was squashed.
I almost feel bad for the roach
So trusting