Just reposting this excellent point from lemmygrad
this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2023
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chapotraphouse
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I don't get people that say they miss pre-federation, because these were the pre-federation vibes to me. People willfully misinterpreting another user, assuming the worst and digging their heels in, in order to score a dunk on a fellow leftist. There's no libs in this thread and we're still fighting.
In these situations in my experience it helps a lot to use "I statement" rather than "you". So instead of saying "you're reducing my argument to saying 'killing kids is good'" then saying "I feel frustrated, because my argument has been reduced to that of 'killings kids is good'". It's basic I know, but it does a lot for keeping hostility low.