this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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“Unfortunately, due to a system malfunction that is the direct result of safety deficiencies and cost cutting measures that place immense pressure on overworked frontline employees to pay lip service to safety but cut corners thanks to metrics pressures designed by management, the trolley went out of control, killing several people. We have sacked some unimportant people as scapegoats to appease the public and will conduct an internal investigation that will result in shuffling things around, some new titles and safety posters, but no real change. Should this be insufficient and the event not blow over quickly we will quietly change our name to something equally as forgettable as the previous one and the public will conveniently forget about us in short order.”

That’s how you solve a trolley delimma. Signed, Management.