this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2023
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation

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Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding "the one" and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don't wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there's one that's meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don't come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I'm just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it's the "natural order" or default. Not that it can't work in individual circumstances, especially when we've been programmed for decades

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[–] dudinax@programming.dev 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The divorce rate is high because of a small percentage of serial monogamists. Most first marriages don't end in divorce.

[–] Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wait WHAT? Its been outliers this whole time?

[–] imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

https://www.insider.com/divorce-rate-changes-over-time-2019-1#the-divorce-boom-started-to-slow-down-and-decline-in-the-80s-11

Not the greatest website but it summarizes things adequately.

Essentially, (in America)divorce rates steadily climbed until the late 1970s, with a slight dip in the 50s. Starting in the 80s, divorce rates started falling again, and have fallen all the way back down to where they were in 60s. It's a tricky thing to get a handle on though, because one reason divorce rates have been falling is because many millenials never got married in the first place, when compared to earlier generations.

[–] evranch@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Interesting as anecdotally, here in Canada, I only have one friend or acquaintance who is still married as I approach 40. Feels like the divorce rate in this country is easily higher than 80% after Covid, high inflation, and the stress both put on relationships

[–] imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 year ago

I'm sure there is significant regional variation in the rates as well. Canada is well up in the rankings though.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_demography