this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2023
112 points (92.4% liked)
Asklemmy
43892 readers
867 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I write a long comment and then don't send it.
Usually after typing everything out and reading it back, I have cooled enough to think it's mediocre at best and the other person doesn't deserve so much of my time wasted anyway (which already happened of course, but they don't need to know that ๐ ).
Yep, this works for me too.
As you said, taking the time to write down your thoughts, read them back, proofread, etc, gives you time to cool off. When you're calmer, you're better able to engage your critical thinking skills, and that's usually when you realise the person isn't worth it or they may have a legitimate reason for thinking differently than you.
Sometimes I react adversely, but intentionally so, when I feel a point needs to be made. I had one person take it badly that I use dark mode and a particular screenshot I posted wasn't suitable for people with vision impairment. I took that opportunity to point out that, rather than playing the victim, they could just ask nicely. On the internet, just about all disabilities are invisible.