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Is there any use to spinning up an instance, only allowing say 10 people max, then just keep it updated and let it run, to take the load of those ten people off the bigger instances? Is that too small time to be useful? I have pretty weak upload.
I think that would be worth it, yeah. Of course if you are hosting it on your home network there will be some added security concerns (and that might make it better to only allow signups to friends/friends of friends/etc). The way I see it is that some instances are going to host the largest communities, and therefore those instances are going to need to handle all of the incoming/outgoing updates to posts in those communities. Right now they can't do that reliably and push updates out to all of their users' devices.
So in the long run I think having small/medium instances (say a couple hundred, not tens of thousands of users) will be the way to grow. These smaller communities can push updates to their smaller user count reliably, and then have more resources to handle federated content coming in and going out. I think scaling for the incoming/outgoing federation requests would be easier than for direct user activity. Federation stuff can be queued and then spread over time, but user requests cannot be.