The first year was the roughest as I adapted to the new normal. The second year was all about rediscovering myself as an individual. It was somewhere during that second year that I began feeling happier, and in the years since then that happiness has multiplied.

If I can offer some advice, don't go out and make any major life decisions for the next year or so. You probably won't be thinking soundly for awhile and don't want to do anything major you'll regret once you are. Secondly don't go running off looking for another long-term serious relationship, you will need some time to rediscover who you are as an individual as people have a tendency to lose that sense of self during long relationships. I made both these common mistakes, and they're among the few things I've done that I regret in my life.

Lastly remember what you're doing is probably the best thing for your son as every study I've ever read says children are better off with two happy parents who are divorced over those who have unhappy parents who stayed together for the child's sake.

Stay strong. Your world is being shaken up right now, but things will settle down and once you're on the otherside you will likely realize, like me, that you're happier. Best of luck.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Thank you for the advice. The relationship thing I can see, I have 15+ years of stuff to unpack.

And the part about my son having a better life after the divorce, I see how it will benefit him. That's going to be my anchor to get through this. He won't be happy, obviously, when he learns about it, but we're doing it with a full plan, and introducing it with his therapist when the plan is ready.