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Have you ever apologized to someone you wronged for a very long time, or received an unexpected apology in a similar way? (mander.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Mothra@mander.xyz to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Such a long title.

Basically I'm wondering if this happens IRL, and how. I've heard countless stories of people who hold a grudge against family members /ex partners/ ex friends/ neighbours etc. for years, and they do horrible things to each other. Or maybe just the cold shoulder can be rough especially for such a long time. But not so many stories of people in these situations who suddenly talk things out unexpectedly, out of their own will and not because they kept getting nagged about whatever happened.

I've also heard about people who screw up big once, never acknowledge or apologize, then everyone puts the episode behind and moves on. But I've never heard about suddenly this person perhaps decades afterwards just actually addressing their screw up and apologizing.

So, have you ever received one of these big, unexpected apologies? Or have you ever apologized for something you did you never thought you would want or dare to apologize for?

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[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 year ago

There was someone I was talking to and we were interested in each other. I went to their city to visit and party, ended up going to a bar with them and their friends. I left with and hooked up with their friend.

Years later I was thinking about it for some reason, and how shitty of a thing to do it was to this innocent person who had been so kind and hospitable. I reached out and apologized, telling them it wasn't their fault and that they deserved better than to be treated that way. I felt very bad about it and wanted to try to reverse any damage it may have caused them and their feeling of self worth. Thankfully they forgave me and said they were in a happy and healthy relationship at that point.

Besides realizing what a shitty person I was, I eventually realized how alcohol affected me and quit drinking. Not blaming the alcohol for my actions because I was 100% lucid, but it sure made making wrong choices easier in the moment.