Trans
General trans community.
Rules:
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Follow all blahaj.zone rules
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All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.
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Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.
Resources:
Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.
Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/
Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/
[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map
[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination
[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/
[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/
[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/
[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org
*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on
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I think it kind of smacks as someone who wants to appropriate a struggle that is not their own.
I think most people have known a girl who claimed she was bisexual because she found some actress attractive and she wanted the attention from her friend group but found the idea of sex with women as disgusting and so never ever had a relationship with any women.
It wasn't too long ago that being gay or lesbian meant you had to hide who you were or who you loved and a lot of older people had to live through that. Some people still do to avoid losing their family. A lot of younger people don't understand that. So seeing someone who enjoys the privilege of being straight and being able to openly love who they want pretending to be marginalized just feels kind of gross. Kind of feels like Rachel Dolezal. You can look her up.
I'm probably going to be downvoted for this opinion but we were asked to explain why those around OP thought their deception was bad. This is likely why.
Hopefully you agree, but I just want to suggest we should keep an open gate, so to speak. One doesn't have to suffer or struggle to be gay/bi or trans - that's just not how that works. OP might still be some kind of trans (or not), that's not really the issue here.
OP happens to have another post talking about how they identify as bi even though they are hardly attracted to women, so your comments about faux-bi women might come across differently to her, FYI.
In the end, the community respects self-identification - and this is just how that works. It's not really appropriate to gatekeep identity on a basis like questioning how sincere someone's capacity for same-sex romance is. There are some biromantic-heterosexual women for example who might find it possible to have a romantic relationship with a woman, but generally wouldn't want to have sex with a woman. This is part of why it's pragmatic to respect self-identity, because it's complicated and we don't want a gatekeeping culture that victimizes people with less understandable sexualities or identities.
However, that's not really what's going on in this post - she said she likes to pretend to be a gay trans man to explore non-straight attraction to men, in this case she isn't actually identifying as a trans man and she is admitting to pretending. That's what makes it dishonest and thus problematic.
I understand that the climate today is vastly different than what it was when I was growing up. These days being gay or lesbian doesn't necessitate a struggle and that's fine. I am coming to terms with the fact that it's more important to be okay for people to self-identify these days, despite what I or others may think, since being queer is simply far more widely accepted (in the US). This is true for being the LGB portion of being LGBT to a large degree, but we haven't gotten there for the trans portion.
I'm just explaining the perspective people who have issues with OP might have and thus why they might have a problem which is what they asked about. Especially as someone who grew up in some of the hard days (i.e. being disowned for being gay, having to fight for my rights to marry my husband, etc.). And also experiencing people in my own journey that claimed they could speak on my behalf or for LGBTQ people as a whole despite having almost no understanding of the struggles we had to go through in the past. The struggles the gay community has faced in the past are being experienced right now though by trans folk perhaps even to a larger degree. Which is why it is more likely to be found problematic to pretend to be trans when you are not.
No worries, I understand you are just trying to help OP understand why they might get some hate for pretending to be trans, and I think you have a good point - it's more sensitive to pretend to be an oppressed minority than for example to misrepresent yourself as a dominant group, e.g. straight (lots of people are closeted and we don't think it's appalling to pretend to be straight, it's just pragmatic / survival for a lot of people - there is immense pressure to be straight and cis).
I didn't mean so much to disagree with what you were saying as much as address what you anticipated as getting you hate - I just wanted to show how we might approach a situation like this without gatekeeping, but while being clear-headed about the wrongs here.
We don't have to gatekeep OP's identity to acknowledge that OP pretending to be trans is wrong and upsetting.