this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2025
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Back when I regularly drank coffee, I'd use a bit of this kind of stuff. A splash.
Still way, waaaaay too sweet.
Switched to a half gallon of wholefat milk in the fridge, used a splash of that instead.
Much better.
...
Most Americans I've known seem to think they like coffee, when what they actually like is a milkshake with notes, hints, suggestions of coffee.
One former roommate of mine thought it was completely normal for 'a cup' of coffee to be 1/3 coffee and 2/3 this kind of pictured coffee.
I remember actually vomiting one time I mistook her cup of coffee for mine.
Not everyone can get coffee beans within a few days of roasting. You need to cut the butter taste that builds up with something to get the same effect.
... Do... you mean cut the 'bitter' taste?
Because... somewhat ironically, if you've indeed made that spelling error, I've also found that a tiny bit of butter (actual butter, not margarine), a teaspoon, stirred until totally melted into the coffee, can give a much more rich and varied taste to what would otherwise be too bitter and... 'sharp', I guess.
Probably wouldn't work so well with instant coffee... but I've always just gone with a darker roast of some kind, either grounds or beans that I grind with a cheap grinder, and then just use an old fashioned french press.
I guess I just prefer significantly more bitter and less sweet coffee than about 1/3rd of the people who've read this...
Oh well, works for me.
Yeah, autocorrect is not kind to me.
I spent 6 months in Italy. I spent another 6 months in Jamaica. I spent another 6 months in 5 different European countries. I've had really fuckin bad coffee everywhere.
Imagine gatekeeping caffeine
Everyone's entitled to as much caffeine as their bodies can handle, but it is pretty odd to 'love coffee' but actually love 'coffee-flavoured hot milkshake'. Like saying 'I love fruit' but really meaning 'I love apple jacks pop tarts', it's not wrong, just a bit odd.
Yeah that's still gatekeeping though. Coffee is coffee regardless of what you put in it. Even if it's gross according to my own individual taste, it's still coffee. Saying anything else is just "better-than-you" gatekeeping.
Edit: it's also nothing like your example at all, because coffee with creamer is still literally made with real coffee, while an apple jacks pop tart is almost definitely not made with real apples.
Coffee is only coffee if the coffee part of the drink is > 50% of the volume. In North America, lots of people drink a mixture that would actually have you curious about that ratio.
Sure, it's gatekeeping coffee - the reason we build walls with gates is to keep the barbarians out! I wasn't trying to 'gatekeep caffeine' in the slightest, those concotions are defintely cafffinated hot drinks. And of course, by some standard they're 'coffee' and so is tiramsu.
Apple jacks pop tarts are made from apples (apple powder, but apples nothertheless), and while it might be a small fraction of the total, the point where it stops being fruit and becomes a snack is an arbitary line. I assume you consider a drink made with instant coffee powder still coffee?
Obviously, it's a silly semantic debate, and someone could equally judge me for wanting my coffee beans roasted and ground "why not eat the berries fresh if you say you love coffee‽".
My point is that it would be silly to judge someone for this, just like it's silly to judge someone for putting creamer in coffee.
Edit: also, what about drinks like mochas, cappuccinos, macchiatos, etc. which also have other ingredients mixed in? Generally it's still fine to call those forms of coffee, no?
Random side note: I've had chocolate-dipped espresso beans before and they're actually a pretty good snack. You just can't eat too many of them because of the caffeine content.
If it tastes good it is good!