this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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when did you change in your dreams? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 week ago by dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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Last night I had a dream where I was socially interacting as male, had male anatomy, etc. - it usually disturbs me when I wake up and realize my unconscious is operating this way, it feels like I don't see myself as a woman, which is true on a conscious level but it's painful when I don't even see myself as a woman in my dreams.

Sometimes even before transition trans women see themselves as women in their dreams, and I marvel at that. I think part of my denial was integrating every internal part of me that felt female as being actually authentically male, that all men are actually feminine in this way or that. So the authentically feminine parts of me still feel "male".

Anyway, I just wanted to do a quick poll and see:

(if any transmasc folks or enbies are reading this, I would love your input too, even though I'm using gendered language, I don't mean to be excluding)

  • did you have dreams where you were a woman before you transitioned?
  • what was the process like of your internal concept changing as you transitioned?
  • when did you start appearing as a woman in your dreams post-transition? (did the frequency increase post-transition, what was that change like?)
  • how do you relate to your self-conception, does it disturb you to be a man in your dreams, is it a relief to be a woman in your dreams?
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[–] Willowthewisp@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I’m half way through month 5 and I’ve had a couple dreams with myself as a woman. Probably started a few weeks ago.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In the dream are you like you have always been a woman, i.e. cis woman? I ask because I started to be a woman in my dreams more around 6 - 8 months into HRT, but usually there are still those undertones of fear and imposter syndrome, i.e. I feel it is a very trans way of being a woman in my dreams (just like in reality). I do think I had one dream though where I was just a woman "naturally" without that sense of being an imposter, which was nice though I hardly remember it now. I just remember when I woke up I had the happy realization that in my dream I was just a normal woman.

[–] Willowthewisp@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 6 days ago

I don’t remember, it’s been a while now and it’s a miracle I can even remember that detail more than a few minutes beyond waking up.