Asklemmy

No it’s not too late! I didn’t start branching out and making new friends outside of the ones I made in high school until I was about 28. I got in touch more with acquaintances and started going out to bars. It wasn’t immediate and you have to be ok with having days that it doesn’t work, and show up repeatedly and you can start knowing people. You also should feel ok with the fact that not everyone will be super close friends and that it can take time, and that’s ok. You are allowed to exist in public spaces just like everyone else. The first few times I went out I didn’t talk to anyone at all. Nowadays I can go out and have days I don’t talk to anyone or meet anyone new or see anyone I know, but that is also ok. It’s a numbers game and you have to just keep going and get comfortable with checking in with your feelings and accepting when you feel social and when you don’t and accepting when things don’t turn out how you want and just appreciating being human and being out in the world. Go to cafes and listen to music and read books, go to bars and strike up conversations when you’re inspired, become a regular, ask people’s names, strike up casual conversation, accept awkwardness as part of the process and just keep moving forward! I now have multiple circles of friends that I’m close with to varying degrees and usually see someone I know when I go out. Work on your hobbies and career when you’re not socializing to have things to talk about and relate to, and be curious about other people and their lives. Most of the time at bars other people are also there to socialize, and you absolutely do not have to drink to be welcome at a bar. Do virgin drinks, sodas, water, pineapple soda, and ask the bartenders their choices in non alcoholic drinks. And also get comfortable with the fact that sometimes you’ll encounter sour apples while you are out, and don’t let them discourage you from going out to meet good people. Not everyone will be nice or fun or enjoyable, but that’s just part of it as well.