As someone who is close to living half my life post-transition, I wouldn’t say it ever went away completely for me but I would say it doesn’t bother me anymore. Because like, so what if I’m not ‘really’ trans? I’m clearly and obviously happier now. I think that fear, for me, comes from on some level believing that if I find out I’m not trans that means I’ll have to detransition… a totally cis thing to fear 🤣

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 5 points 1 day ago

Thank you for the comment! Hearing different experiences is very helpful!

[–] hovercat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Congratulations! I'm just past a month, and I absolutely get it. It's especially fun on those days when you're feeling extra dysphoric 🥲

Something that's helped me a lot was realizing that it's just a really lazy coping/defense mechanism from the brain. Being trans is kind of (incredibly) scary, and so it's just those echos of fear and doubt saying "Well, maybe if you just weren't trans, things would be way easier!". Then you can calmly tell that to shut the hell up, and continue living your best life :3

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 7 points 1 day ago

Thank you, I love collecting coping mechanisms.

For me the question: "Am i cis then?" really helps too, cause I can confidently deny that one haha

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago

You really are exactly what you really are. Whether that's cis, or trans, or NB, or a secret fourth thing, those are all just labels. The label doesn't matter. What does matter is whether you feel that you're doing the right thing for you. Everything, and I mean everything, is all made up in our heads. You are a brain inside a dark jar piloting a meaty skeleton on a spinning rock whipping through space. Even our direct sensory input is all mediated by the brain. Therefore, nothing is true, in a really empirical sense, in a way we're capable of measuring. Everything is all made up by the brain.

And if nothing is true, then everything is permitted. You do you, in the way that feels right to you, and don't you let anyone stop you. This is about your personal truths, which are as true to you as anything can be to anyone. If you think you really are trans then you are. If you think you aren't then you don't have to be. There is no objective measure of truth here.