this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2024
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I don't understand how people end up married to someone they only kinda like and tolerate. Idk if I'll ever marry because I want to be very sure we love each other and are compatible before making big decisions like that.
From experience: in the US especially we're sold this idea of the nuclear family: a husband, a wife, 2.5 kids and a dog with a picketed yard. It sounds nice, when that's how you've grown up and how your friends have grown up and how your parents live and how your grandparents live. We're sold this idea, this lie, so intensely because our country wants us to be in these easy to control family units designed to enforce patriarchy.
When a man is taught his job is to be a patriarchy, to be stoic, to be the protector and provider, he forgets his own needs. When aan forgets his own needs, he unwittingly lies to those close to him, those who love him. Those who think he loves them, beyond familial tie.
These are doubly so for those of us who are neurodivergent, as were taught from birth that we must suppress our own needs so those around us will tolerate us. It doesn't matter if I loved her or not, she loved me and that means I have a responsibility.
Anyway those are just my 2 cents, but what do I know, I'm just a late 20s divorced autistic trans woman, cishet relationships are an enigma to me.
Even as a kid, that "ideal" seemed miserable to me. I guess I kinda see it if we adjust it to me being transbian, but it's still not ideal. I think I'd be a lot happier in a much more communal culture, which is the opposite of the American Dream.
I'm also not monogamist, so uh, yeah, that's very not compatible with this system.