Greentext

I love that IGN reviewed both movies and gave Sonic a 6 out of 10 despite saying it's the "Best movie of the franchise" and that Jim Carey was amazing as both Dr. Robotnik and Dr. Robotnik. (For the record Sonic 1 and 2 were given a 7)

And that Mufasa was given an 8 out of 10 despite IGN's review struggling to come up with anything nice to say.

It not only validates my own (low) opinion of IGN and their track record of hating on Sonic just because it's Sonic, but it makes me laugh. We're seeing big corporations slowly losing control.

They can't tell us what we should like and not like anymore. The market has never been freer to decide what movies they like and what games to play. (Balatro being the only real game at the Awards with Remake, DLC, and Tech Demo being the other options is kind of hillarious)

Also it's kinda weird, a movie inspired by Hamlet that demands to be taken seriously is considered low grade shlock, and an adaptation of a twenty year old old video game who's greatest literary contribution is children's comic books made to promote games, toys, and t-shirts is considered the PEAK of Cinema.... Especially when such a thing is actually a sign of society recovering from brainwashing and not falling deeper into it.

I can hear Ebert rolling in his grave and I'm here for it.

I'll also say this, Sonic 3 is a god damn masterpiece. It got me to take Maria's death seriously.

In the games Maria Robotnik is such a shallow one-note character who I don't even dislike, because there isn't enough of her to form an opinion on one way or another.

Now sure, I'm happy to slap the shit out of anyone who'd dishonor her memory, but.. I'm doing that as Shadow, to SHADOW she's the only real friend he's ever had. To me, she's just a cheap attempt to get invested to take a story trying WAY too hard to be grimdark when all I really wanna do is go fast and ~~eat ass~~ grab rings.

Most Sonic characters serve a gameplay function, so all you really need is their archetype. Flying tech guy, Punchy boy, Lovesick Hammer Girl, Kicky boob lady, Skatebird with a skateboard, Trunks-from-DBZ and his crazy physics engine! (Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Rouge, Jet, and Silver)

Shadow however needs his narrative to back him up or else he's just "Emo Sonic"

So I've seen Maria die many, many times, and honestly it keeps getting funnier as she slowly devolved from "Cheap tearjerker bait" to "Meme"

Sonic 3 gave Maria a character, actually showed her bonding with Shadow, and took her so seriously that if she were in any other movie franchise; This would be a film about a girl who makes friends with an alien and with the power of friendship is able to show everyone that he means no harm, and that it doesn't matter what you look like, and all that with everyone singing a silly song over a campfire...

Sorry Maria, but this aint your faerie tale, it's Shadow's grim fable.

So when she died, she did something no Maria story, not in games, comics, or anime has ever done before. Even though I knew it was coming she made me feel, shock, anger, and misery to such an extent that it was all too easy to sympathize with Shadow's pain.