this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2024
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It's a fair question, if you haven't gone through it. I agree: it seems ridiculous!
I grew up surrounded by authority figures who didn't have a nuanced understanding of mental health. I internalized being called "lazy" and "a procrastinator," because everyone told me that I was choosing to be bad at managing my time and focus!
I believed this right into the upper management of a tech company in my 30s. And I'd get down on myself constantly for zoning out during meetings and being overwhelmed at long-term complex tasks. "Wow I'm so lazy and unmotivated," I'd think to myself in between client meetings. For years.
A friend showed me the ADHD symptoms (probably after I zoned out for the thousandth time), and it was a shock and how closely they described my childhood, schooling, and professional and social life.
Some people do just fine with their coping mechanisms - I discovered that I had quite a few! But I made the choice to seek medication. Taking it was like breathing air for the first time.
So that's what I was doing.