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The ability to deal with the rush and then persistence of negative feeling whenever anything bad happens, my routine is thrown off, or even I have to do something I'd rather not, because I do not cope well with any of those, and it causes me to shut down.
The usual advice is to "bury it", "hold it" or "suck it up" for some unspecified later time, but that was basically my old coping mechanism and It Does Not Work™ any more.
So I'd like the upgraded version of that. Whatever it is. Preferably a version that won't break or occasionally malfunction (we call those "Warning signs", kids) like the original one did.
What works for me for this: A soundtrack. Back in the day, I used to bike every weekend. I hated exercise but realized I had to do it. I started collecting fast, powerful tracks, found what made me focus rather than go into daydreaming. I slowly over the weeks, months and years, kept at the same soundtrack. Now, when there's busy work, or shit work, or pain i need to endure, i throw an earbud in and i'm back on the long ass boring trail, just focusing on whatever bullshit i need to do.
Doesn't work well if I need to do something creative, but cleaning and grass cutting, it's like a switch to turn off my "god i ate this" switch.
The upgrade is get a good therapist, and that can be trickier, more or less depending on your place of residence. Someone who can help you gather new tools and the skills to apply them. I wish you the best.
This is an issue CBT (not that one) can help with.
Tried it. Have had at least four therapists at this point, and I've reached the limit of what I'm entitled to.
As for the other one, someone once told me to avoid it because "[I'm] already paranoid enough.", with which I agreed.
Ah shit, sorry to hear that.