this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

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[–] briongloid@aussie.zone 24 points 2 years ago (9 children)

Some armies use cheese to reduce frequency of bowel movements.

[–] bkmps3@aussie.zone 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

This. I’m ex-military. Our ration packs came with these highly processed cans of cheese. I’d go 4-5 days without doing a shit.

Was never a good time after though

[–] Velkas@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ugh, I'd die. Dairy allergy means I'd shit my brains out

[–] assa123@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

That would be counterproductive xD

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

hot hot hot hot hooooooooot

[–] Wander@yiffit.net 8 points 2 years ago

I did not know that. I might want to consider eating more cheese just to have more time :P

[–] mizu6079@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 4 points 2 years ago

Drier, hard cheese gives better results. If you want to not poop you cut out all fibre (anything vegetable). No coffee, no sauces/ oils. Eat less

[–] bilb@lem.monster 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I always hear MREs cause days-long constipation, but they probably aren't in the "easy to find" category.

And I'm not going to ask OP what the situation is, but I'm assuming some kind of stowaway situation.

[–] AndyGHK@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 years ago

β€œHon hon hon, eet seems le poupeaux, she has surrendered!!”

[–] dakerDraws@pawb.social 1 points 2 years ago

Does that work for (a good portion of the population) who are lactose intolerant?

[–] zik@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Let's hope he's not lactose intolerant

[–] Diskolikewhoa@kbin.social 1 points 2 years ago

Was going to say this too. Especially processed cheese, that'll bind up your insides tighter than a sub in a vacuum bed.