this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2024
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And Finally...
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My Dad agreed to be Santa at my nursery but the wellies they have him were too small, so he wore his own shoes. I spotted this and freaked out, thinking the weird old man with a white beard was some kind of murder hobo who'd killed my father and stolen his shoes. My folks had to tell me the truth to calm me down.
I found out when I was seven when my parents had to explain why we weren't gonna get presents this year.
Poverty, mostly, but also my family didn't actually celebrate Christmas, the children just decided we were because of all the christmas media they throw around at the time of year.
I found pictures of my brother's inlaw jumping on the trampoline Santa brought me that had the date 24th of December.
I took the photographic evidence, became a little cop and got them to confess, they tried to tell me the dates were wrong on the camera, but the photos of me on Christmas morning were correct, that lie didn't last long.
Holy shit