The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.

For any men near the beginning of their journey to adopt of a more healthy masculinity, The Will To Change by bell hooks is an excellent read

[–] MiraculousMM@hexbear.net 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

If anyone's interested in reading through it with others, we have a book club going for this book right now! It's a fantastic read so far and we just started!

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

Yeah, but ...hexbear? Ferreal? 🫣

[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I understand the hesitancy. Hexbear’s not for everyone. If you were only going to interact with a single corner of Hexbear and ignore the rest, this book club would be a good place to do so. It’ll be low on snark and full of people doing earnest discussion.

[–] MiraculousMM@hexbear.net 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Everyone involved in the book club is taking it seriously and we've had great discussions so far without any irony poisoning. You don't need to be a commie or an anarchist to get a lot out of the experience, we just want more people who will earnestly engage with the work.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 3 weeks ago

I might, in all honesty, and thank you. I'll have to go find how thoroughly I've blocked that instance (TIL: my filters are not fully synced between devices), but I appreciate knowing this is out there, at the least.

[–] imogen_underscore@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

[–] frauddogg@hexbear.net 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

At first, I had to question why I was seeing a question like this, then I remembered where I was. But if I start talking trash about dbzer0 like this here, my shit's finna get pinched.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 weeks ago

1.) Yeah, but it's hexbear.

2.) Use gloves.

[–] Gsus4@mander.xyz 1 points 3 weeks ago

The film nights are pretty good too.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 3 weeks ago

Jesus, that cuts. 🥹😶

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.

This isn't exclusive to men, women do this too. Even many that say they want a "sensitive" guy don't actually in my experience, they want a guy that can be empathetic to others (namely them) but still have no feelings of his own, just try to cry in front of one (especially for anything less than a death of someone close, or as I've been told before "yeah we don't like it when guys cry for stupid reasons but if there's something like your mom died sure. I want a sensitive guy not a pussy.")

2318

Call it the patriarchy all you want, but women certainly reinforce it too, IME even some that espouse hatred for it turn around and reinforce it in the same breath.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 weeks ago

A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals...