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The Republicans controlled every branch of government in 2003, as well as a majority of state legislatures and governorships.
What broke for gay marriage in 2003 was a libertarian strain of conservatism defecting from the mainstream. Liberals accepted the change with the same passivity as they accepted the status quo.
Again by a majority conservative court. The Obama legislature dragged its heels.
They can be forced to do things by powerful socio-economic interests. In this case, a big chunk of the legal community broke for gay marriage and Obama didn't try to get in the way.
But they didn't do anything. They just let the change happen.
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/3758652-here-are-the-gop-senators-who-voted-against-the-same-sex-marriage-bill/
https://newrepublic.com/post/169392/full-list-republicans-vote-against-same-sex-marriage
https://www.cpr.org/2020/02/14/why-4-colorado-republicans-tried-and-failed-to-ban-gay-marriage-in-2020/
and here's some anti LGBT-youth stuff https://leg.colorado.gov/bills/hb20-1144
You'll notice that in each and every case, the anti LGBT stuff is all Conservative, because Conservatives have that 'call to the past' or whatever; where 'the way things were' in the past is always better, and in the past women didn't have rights, LGBT people couldn't marry, etc.
Liberals don't actively fight against rights unless it's an overall popular voter opinion. Conservatives do regardless.
I say this as someone who's about as far left as one can go. I think you're A. grossly underestimating how useful 'letting change happen' is when it comes to popular opinion on rights, and grossly underestimating how much damage Conservatives clawing and gnashing at allowing rights for more people is.