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Earl had to die (slrpnk.net)

submitted 1 month ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works

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[–] revelrous@sopuli.xyz 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

jeeezus. That's some nightmare fuel. I wonder if he felt uninhibited by the nearness of death, or was trying to rattle you to feel like he had some control in a patient/caregiver dynamic?

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 month ago

Well, I've thought about that over the years.

While it may seem weird, there's this thing called the universal light church, where you can get ordained online.

I did it because I figured it might help some of my patients feel a bit more comforted.

Is was a few days after it had come up in conversation.

But he definitely wanted to fuck with for some reason. I've never been sure if it was to feel more control, to feed his inner monster, or just for entertainment, or some combination. But he was enjoying telling me, and there was no doubt he was trying to get to me with the way he was looking at me.

I kinda figured that there was a part of him that wanted confession of some kind, and wanted someone to see him, to see that part of him and not react the way he thought people would react. The timing with having talked about end of life care, and how patients often told me about some pretty deep stuff, and how I felt like it was one of the best parts of the job, being the one that gets to be there. I think it was one of those things where he knew he'd never get another chance at sharing that with someone that would both keep it secret and not flip out on him.

But it was also part him trying to fuck with me in one way or another for sure.