this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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I can’t just listen to conversations people I don’t know are having, and randomly interject when I feel I have something relevant to say.

Damn, I feel that to my core. One of the few benefits people like us would've had in the pre-internet days, was that striking up casual conversations with strangers was considered more acceptable. Thankfully, my (also neurodivergent) father set an example for that when I was growing up - he chatted up everyone, and as a consequence seemed to know people no matter where he went. Yeah, some people probably thought he talked too much, but so what? He wasn't bothered, and he occasionally made actual connections through it. At the very least, I imagine most people would recognize my father as a friendly guy.

I try to let that empower me, even though it's much easier said than done. The thing is, if you go into a conversation expecting to be viewed negatively, it's going to impact how the interaction goes. Also, something that took me a painfully long time to learn, is that internet strangers can't substitute for therapy. Just because neurotypicals know how to do something, doesn't mean they can explain how they do it. I held that same expectation through my youth, but since NTs never had to go through the socialization process step-by-step in order to learn it, expecting them to break it down the way you want them to simply isn't going to happen.

That is, unless they've studied it and know how to give constructive advice that makes sense from your perspective. And at that point, you're actually seeking a therapist anyway.