No Stupid Questions (Developer Edition)

Intentions by Oscar Wilde. The On Decay of Lying essay has made me not only interested in art, but has also deeply resonated with my general outlook on life that I never really realized I have.

Another one would be reading Raven by E. A. Poe in original, instead of translations into other languages. That was when I realized that you simply can't translate poetry well, which was only cemented when I've read some symbolist and decadent poetry by Czech authors, instead of reading translations of Baudelaire. Especially the symbolism and decadence simply cannot be translated well, it's the kind of poetry that's meant to be read aloud, and every word and syllable has it's exact meaning. This is lost in translations. Thanks to that I've actually taken a course on college in Czech Literature of the end of 19th century (even though I studied gamedev and sw engineering), and it has greatly shaped my appreciation for literature and outlook on art.

Then there is Condensed Chaos by Phil Hine. I never believed in ezoterism and quite frankly took it as a newage bullshit to scam people. But reading I was still interested in researching it, and Condensed Chaos changed my outlook on the occult. It provides a really interresting point of view that can work for anyone - that everything is bullshit anyway, but the only thing that matters is what you believe in and more importantly - what works for you. And the only way how to find that out is to just experiment and try out whatever, without any kind of dogmatism. And most importantly - don't take it too seriously, and don't forget to have fun. It has made me forget my prejudices around ezoterism and realize that hey, it's probably bullshit, but does believing in something, no matter whether it's true or not, makes my life better? Have I ever actually tried it without judgement? And so I started not only researching different occult systems, but also starting experimenting with them. Of course I did not expect miracles, and none happened, but once I got past the "What the fuck am I doing with my life, waving my hands around and lighting candles in my room, this is stupid." feeling, I did find a few traditions that really did make me feel better, or made my life a little more magical. After all - every kind of magic has the same goal - to somehow nudge your subconscious to believe in something or unconsciously nudge you towards doing something, through altered consciousness brought by whatever flavor they have chosen, which is supported by science - if you keep telling yourself that everyting sucks all the time, you will be more miserable. And, why not try it for yourself? There's so many occult traditions, most of which did try to make your life actually better somehow, there has to be something to it. Even if it probably isn't some paranormal force power, but only basically a obfuscated meditation and mindfulness with a little bit more edge and pose.

It was an interesting experience, and I can now see the appeal of ezoterism - if not taken too seriously. Unfortunately, too many people have an unhealthy obsession or focus on it way too much, but that's also what the Condensed Chaos book warns about. In general, I definitely recommend reading that book, even for people who are sceptical - I was too, and it was one of those things I approached as an experiment just for fun, and it did change the way how I view the world now for the better.