this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2024
82 points (96.6% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26875 readers
3202 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'm very glad you're happy where you are. Most people that have had kids have said this to me. But I do occasionally have the rare person who actually has kids but recommends I don't have them. One of the people that told this to me is incredibly sweet and motherly, even to me, but she seems to be able to look past the feel good hormones and realize that it's not something a lot of people should be doing.

When I visit family members or friends who have kids, it honestly seems like a living nightmare. Not that their children are shitty kids, but just the amount of constant work and attention they need and how you can never do anything for yourself ever again. And you have to do this until they grow up and maybe move out. I can barely even take care of myself mentally or physically. Doing that for multiple human beings sounds like literal torture. I will have people tell me they love raising kids while at the same time they have come into work on only few hours sleep because something happened with the kids in the middle of the night.

I'm convinced the only reason why people get hooked on the whole having kids things is because of some sort of hormonal thing. Observing everything from the outside, it just looks like everyone has Stockholm syndrome or brain slugs.

I hope you don't find this offensive and I'm sure you're a great dad. I know your kids are lucky to have you and we do still need at least SOME people to be willing to be parents for the sake of the human race. But yeah idk.

It's definitely not for everyone. And it depends a lot on your support network. I could pretty easily get someone to have them with a little bit of notice. I still regularly go out and away.

But that is also a kind of selection bias. Kids tend to get hyper and show off when they have guests. You're potentially seeing them at their worst a lot of the time.

They're also in bed relatively early so you often have your evenings free. So not much more time than if you worked full time with a long commute.