Asklemmy

43770 readers

1437 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

Women of Lemmy, how to pleasure someone that does not enjoy any clitoris stimulation? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by MTK@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

NSFW 72 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Well, as the title says, I'm facing an issue that I'm not sure how to improve.

My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.

She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can't get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.

So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.

Maybe something I haven't tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I'm her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can't figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.

ETA: she does not masturbate, so no guidance or hidden methods on her part.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Thanks, she does not masturbate, so no knowledge source there.

I'll try that position you suggested, sounds very intimate as well.

And I am kind of at a last ditch effort here, I of course accept her as she is, I just want to see if there is something I can do to help her orgasm before I give up on the prospect for now. She is very satisfied with our sex life (so as I) but I really think she might be missing out since she never had an orgasm and so she can't really know what she is missing out on.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Hmm, yes if she does not masturbate I honestly think she might just not be that much into the physical pleasure, you may have to just take what you can get - even though you would be frustrated, she may not be. It's hard for me to imagine, too! But if she enjoys the closeness and seeing you get off, your expectations may be getting in the way.

Even if she gets frustrated, she will probably have to figure out herself what works. It's really good she is not faking, don't push her to the point she feels like that's the answer.

ETA: tight angle with her legs up if she is flexible, or kind of sideways so one of your legs is against her vulva (look up coital alignment technique) those positions with some amount of outside contact like that are very intense dual stimulation, and if you are yourself angled upward the tight angle with legs up will also hit those front areas inside where the nerves from the clitoris run upward.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Don't worry, I would never push her and we are both happy, I am also not frustrated with the situation, just wondering if there is something else I can try

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 2 points 2 days ago

my partner just want cuddles.

I like eating peaches!

We are not the same.