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Women of Lemmy, how to pleasure someone that does not enjoy any clitoris stimulation? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by MTK@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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Well, as the title says, I'm facing an issue that I'm not sure how to improve.

My partner does not enjoy any sort of clitoris stimulation, I tried everything from rough to gentle, from fingers to tongue, with lube and without. It seems that she truly does not enjoy it in anyway.

She does enjoy penetration very much and I put all of my efforts there, but I feel like I can't get her to an orgasm/higher pleasure and while she is satisfied right now I fear that over time she wont be.

So my question is what else can I do? There are some other pleasure areas that we use such as ears, emotional connection, fantasies, dirty talk, etc.

Maybe something I haven't tried on the clitoris? Maybe something else that can take it to the next level? Maybe something that she can do? Maybe just accept that this is okay? Again, she does enjoy herself a lot and is completely satisfied as far as I know, but as I'm her first I think that she is missing out on a level of pleasure that I can't figure how to help her achieve without the clitoris.

ETA: she does not masturbate, so no guidance or hidden methods on her part.

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[–] notfromhere@lemmy.ml 15 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Try other areas of her body (e.g. neck, ear, nipple), try full body massage beforehand, her mental state as well as yours will definitely play a role, and there are certain rhythms and grip techniques if penetration is the only positive sensation for her. Also maybe she would be more turned on by switching roles more where you were on the receiving end. Have fun, good luck!

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Most of what you suggested is already in practice :)

What do you mean by griping techniques?

[–] Septimaeus@infosec.pub 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Pelvic floor muscles. The “grip” strength can give her much more power to climax. From your description, there is some chance she is unfamiliar with kegels and such. If so, definitely worth exploring.

Also: men can strengthen pelvic floor too, and many women enjoy the internal throb/pulse feeling, so it might be something to try together.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

We do that both of us :)

[–] notfromhere@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I hadn’t considered the other response you got but it is very true! What I was referring to is your hand grip inside. Typically there is a bulb. If you are on top of her (prone) with two fingers inside, do a spiderman web shoot grip and see if you can feel it. Find it and grip it and work your arm like you want to rip it out of her. Definitely start gentle at first but IME the rough stuff will be well tolerated and enjoyable. Oh yea, set a towel down under her and probably a hand towel at the ready 😉

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Thanks, I do do that and she does enjoy it but it never went past what I already described