K (189?–?) Soviet pioneer. From Kazan, Tartarstan, USSR, K was diagnosed as a ‘transvestite’ in 1937.
She was given permission by the People’s Court to wear female clothing, her identity papers were changed to her female name, and her name was removed from the military recruitment rolls.
She was featured in a 1957 gynaecology textbook.
M.G. Serdiukov. Sudebnaia ginekologiia I sudebnoi akusherstvo. Moscow: Meditsina 1957: 47-8.
Dan Healey. Homosexual Desire in Revolutionary Russia: The Regulation of Sexual and Gender Dissent. Chicago and London: The University of Chicago Press, 2001: fig 24.
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Knowing that this is a faulty core belief (unworthiness) is actually a considerable step forward, because often people come into therapy feeling anxious and bad and so on but getting to the root of those bad thoughts is a few sessions deep. So it's good you've identified it! You've actually made good progress on your own, you should feel proud and should identify this strength of yours for self-awareness. A CBT worksheet will show a negative belief that you connect to a core belief and then you provide alternative beliefs.So when I say I think 5 positive thoughts for every negative, it doesn't mean every time a core belief surfaces that I think 5 positive thoughts (core beliefs rarely surface) I mean those distantly connected negative thoughts. Anyway, I think you could get tools like that to work for you with CBT focused treatment.
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I know what you mean, and i agree, but theres also that part of me saying, with a sardonic depressed tone, "i made good progress when I was 16. The more-than-a-decade since then has been me trying and failing to do anything about it (or anything at all really)"
And i do try to feel pride in the ways Im strong, but i often end up feeling terribly conceited for it yk?
Im really good at analyzing myself, at self-insight, at understanding the various internal processes occuring. But i cant make changes happen. Even when I know what to do, why it will work, and want to do it, i struggle to shift how I approach things, how I engage with things.
And like, ive done therapy, but not in a while and not cbt. Maybe something to look at, if i can ever figure out of health insurance and get some kind of job so I can afford it lol.