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We have talked about it a lot. He recognizes it’s a weird behaviour but he can’t break the habit, so the childhood thought tracks. And I also think you’re right about the effort bit. He’s lazy by nature. If something needs doing and he doesn’t know how, he just shrugs and says “I don’t know how”. But when you’re a couple, and something needs to be done, anything shrugged off by #1 becomes the responsibility of #2. Which means instead of him having to learn it, I have to. Just google it dude. Watch a youtube video, like I’m going to when you wash your hands of it. It’s easier for me to learn something new than it is for him to learn something new which is bollocks. The only reason it’s easier is because it’s not his effort. Somehow in his mind learning something new is too hard on his part, but takes zero effort on mine. Like, what?
To be fair, they don't really cover bad habit-breaking in high school. College either sometimes, depending on course of study. They probably do in the military, but most people don't enlist.
The information is out there though, perhaps you could find him a useful reference material that isn't too long and covers a basic, evidence-based technique.
Ah, a bit of the ol' weaponized incompetence.