this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
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[–] hitsuji_nanka@midwest.social 15 points 2 months ago (3 children)

How did everyone take this post to mean that you should only do small talk with your partner and not have deeper conversations?

[–] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think this was written by someone who isn't comfortable with extended periods of silence with their partner.

My wife and I barely speak or communicate nonverbally for hours sometimes, then talk at great length other times. We always give each other an opportunity to talk about our day or whatever else is important, but we don't talk about trivial things simply for the sake of talking. We're comfortable with silence.

[–] hitsuji_nanka@midwest.social 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Idk I took it more to mean "wow I don't want to start a deep, thoughtful conversation the moment I get home from work let me relax for a minute" while at the same time still wanting to talk to your partner. But I guess it's up to reader interpretation and I do seem to be in the minority here.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You're not alone. I think people might be projecting their own reasons for liking/disliking smalltalk into this tweet.

[–] hitsuji_nanka@midwest.social 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I just feel like a lot of people here are defining "small talk" as "a conversation that I don't want to have" rather than any meaningful definition.

I would consider stepping outside in the morning with your partner and stating "oh wow it's such a nice day today" to be small talk. It's a conversation without an end goal, sure, but I don't think it's as worthless as people are making it out to be.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 points 2 months ago

Yeah, like, obviously if you define it as something like that you don't like that, but I don't think that's how everyone defines it.

[–] Yprum@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My bet is, for the same reason that the post assumes that people who hate smalltalk can't have a meaningful relationship

[–] hitsuji_nanka@midwest.social 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There's likely at least a small correlation between people who dislike small talk and being at least somewhat socially inept.

(This doesn't mean I'm saying everyone who dislikes small talk is socially inept. That's not how correlations work.)

[–] taladar@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

I would say it is likely complex. One might also assume for similar simplistic reasons that small talk is primarily used by people who get insecure if someone else isn't constantly acknowledging their presence by talking with them about something.

Likely neither of those simplistic explanations do the full complexity of social dynamics justice.