The Fuckboy Step-Prince

Marius Borg Høiby, 27, was arrested last month and charged with assault, vandalism, theft, and stalking after a coke-and-booze-fueled meltdown in the apartment of a woman he claims was his girlfriend. Her lawyer, however, denies that she was ever involved with him romantically. Following the arrest, a restraining order was issued against Høiby, prohibiting him from contacting her.

Ten days after his arrest, Høiby issued a public apology to the woman, claiming to have several mental health issues and promising to seek treatment for both his substance abuse and his supposed psychological problems. Unfortunately for him, two of his ex-partners have since come forward, telling of his drug use and violent behavior, which blows apart his narrative that this was just a one-time mistake.

To make matters worse for the royals, Crown Princess Mette-Marit (Høiby’s mother) reportedly called the victim to "discuss" the charges shortly after the arrest, prompting outrage over the royals potentially abusing their status to influence the legal process.

Though Høiby holds no royal title or official function, this isn’t his first scandal. Apart from a conviction for drug possession the step-prince has previously made headlines for referring to himself as "Prince of Norway" in a short-lived stint as a style editor for a British fashion magazine, and he's used the royal palace's address both to give to police when arrested for drug possession and as a marketing ploy to sell second-hand luxury goods online. When he’s not busy assaulting women, Høiby fills his time doing cocaine, posting videos of reckless driving and partying with celebrities, influencers, organized criminals and alt-right bloggers.

On top of it all, he’s faced criticism for using his connections to get a Norwegian diplomatic passport — despite having no diplomatic role — using it to dodge law enforcement while abroad.

Royal Grifters: The Angel Princess and the COVID Shaman

While Høiby self-destructs, Princess Märtha-Louise — daughter of King Harald — is also doing her bit to fan the flames of republican sentiment, with 69% of poll respondents saying she should lose her royal title.

Märtha-Louise recently married her long-time partner, Durek Verrett, a self-styled American "shaman" who caters to the spiritual needs of the rich and famous. By his own account Verrett had spiritual precognition of 9/11 but he decided not to warn anyone. Normally, royal weddings serve as an opportunity for monarchies to flex their influence and charm the public with elaborate pageantry, but not this time. For a start just by being black Verrett has pissed off Norway's nastiest elements, who would otherwise have been staunch monarchists.

But Verrett’s race isn’t the only controversy. The couple’s blatant commercialism has turned off much of the public who sees it as unworthy for the institution. In a break from tradition, they sold exclusive coverage of the wedding to a British tabloid, shunning Norway’s government broadcaster, NRK. While the king and royal family attended, they notably skipped the tabloid photoshoot.

Adding to the circus, Märtha-Louise promoted her clothing line at the wedding by setting up a stand for guests to purchase her merchandise. Leading up to the wedding, the labels of a bespoke brand of gin marketed by the couple was found to violate Norwegian alcohol advertising laws and had to be relabeled before the state alcohol monopoly would sell it.

NRK reports that King Harald is displeased, seeing the commercial nature of the wedding as a breach of his agreement with Märtha-Louise not to use her title for financial gain.

Not content to stop there, Märtha-Louise and her shaman husband are also working on a Netflix series, much to the annoyance of residents in the small village where it’s being filmed. Their prior ventures include Verrett selling "magic charms" to protect against COVID, and Märtha-Louise running a school offering courses on how to perform miracles and communicate with angels to people with more money than sense.

The monarchy recently removed the "Royal Family" section from its official website. The section had previously included biographies for both Märtha-Louise and Marius Borg Høiby. Instead, a new category titled "Other Royals" has appeared, with Høiby no longer receiving his own profile.