this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
370 points (93.2% liked)

Asklemmy

43898 readers
1199 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] Silentiea@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Change the question slightly and they think about it differently. Ask them how they'd feel if they lost some of those features. A cis man with hairy arms and chest probably doesn't say he feels a great joy when he thinks about them, but would probably feel some real discomfort if he couldn't grow body hair any more. They assign a neutral value to them because they consider it "default". And of course not everyone feels the same way about these things, cis or trans, but I think most cis people really do value their genders and sexed bodies because those things match, even if they wouldn't say so.

Either way, I think we're both speaking anecdotally and I don't plan to go look for the research on gender identity right now.

[โ€“] Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

That's the thing, I am not so sure. Like ask for what the reason behind that discomfort would be and a lot of the time it still has it's root in other people's perceptions. There's a lot of muddling factors, internalized misogyny and the need to project "manliness" as a distinct comparison is still basically an external training to feel that way about that feature. Things like fatphobia work off of external training to social body standards and a lot of that dynamic is at play in cis spaces...but doesn't well graft one to one with the trans experience of dysphoria /euphoria.

It's a difficult knot to dig down to it's source but I think it's a way more of a distinct difference of operations than people think hence why it's so gorram hard to explain to most people what is going on.

To confirm this would require a bunch of study which isn't really happening because cis people don't really deeply examine or know where to start even into exploring what being cis actually is. They don't really have to think about it. The only reason we trans folks have to do so much introspection is because we can't just be left to do what we need. We have to quantify it and examine it to self advocate... And then when cis people render our situation back to us in completly dismissive nonsensical ways it prompts one to wonder. Maybe there really is a physical difference, some chunk of development that created an inflexibility where normally there is flexibility. A trans brain might exist in a subset of cis people and align internally (I have definitely met folk like that) but unless cis people talk to each other we might not be able to confirm.

[โ€“] Silentiea@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 months ago

I don't know about that. I think the reasons they give would sound external like that, but they can sound that way from a trans person too. And ask about something more significant, like

what if you didn't have a penis anymore? Say you could still have sex and babies, but didn't have a penis. How would you feel about that?

A cis man would be pretty affected by that, and he wouldn't attribute that to societal pressure. I contend that at the very least there is some misattribution when most cis people put the entirety of their gender identity on external factors.

Either way, I fully agree that it's something that research can answer in a way discussion never will. Whether and to what degree that research has happened, is happening, or ever will happen I can't say.