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I've had multiple "the dream"s. First I wanted to go to college for robotics and make sick frickin robots. I ended up not going through with it because lol college is expensive. Then I wanted to become a priest, but concluded that my schizophrenia would probably stop that from happening. Most recently I was interested in becoming a monk, but a quick chat with the abbot shot that down, again thanks to my schizophrenia.
I could live with not going to college again no problem, I have a nice engineering job as it is. What's really frustrating is when my mental illness keeps closing doors in my face the minute I find them. It's hard to think, at times, that my life really has value. But I persist.