this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2024
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GoldenEye. 1997 version, of course. License to Kill, pistols only.
Although, I might be able to hold my own in a 30+ tournament of newer games. Those kids are just too fast for me to keep up.
Obviously! Why even specify? This should just go unsaid. Only a psychopath would invite you to play Goldeneye, and then pull out the Wii. Like you would think weird if you showed up to a friends house, and he was like "Hey, thanks for showing up! I got beer in the fridge. My wife isn't tied up naked in the bedroom. We'll throw the burgers on the grill at sunset."
I mean. Why would your friend say something so odd? OBVIOUSLY you wait until sunset to throw those burgers on the grill! That's prime grilling hours! Everybody knows that!
I didn't even notice the sunset thing, I was hung up on why he mentioned beer in the fridge. Why wouldn't there be? Did he get shitty beer? Very suspicious.
Slappers only, no oddjob
I'm sure I suck NOW, but I remember the rule back in 1998 was "Golden Guns only, you're Oddjob."
I WANTED my opponent to be Oddjob. I turned auto-aim off, and let them keep it on. I did everything possible to give my opponent the advantage. There was still a long run where nobody could beat me. Like 2 years.
And now I'm sad that my biggest flex in life is so meaningless and happened when I was 14. Other then some random VHS tapes that I don't know where they are, there's not even any proof that this happened.
Part of me wishes it was the 90s again, because fuck the 2020s. But another part of me wishes it was the 90s again because I want to beat some punk ass kids at goldeneye again!
Back in 2016 I went to a barcade and these college aged kids were playing. They were acting all macho about video games. It was very weird. I was PLASTERED. So I joined in on the 3rd game I saw them play. After 2 games playing, they were like "Ok, lets call a truce, and do 3 on 1 until he's eliminated." Still won. They accused me of cheating. We were using original hardware, with OEM controllers, and nothing in the rumble pack slot (yes, it WAS a mockery of the hardware not having a rumble pak). How the fuck COULD I cheat??? That's just called having skills, son! Get on my LEVEL!!!
Oh, I love it!
Sometime around 2010, a coworker was telling me that he had brought his old N64 back from his mom's house, we geeked out and started talking about how great we were back in the day. So, sure enough, I end up at his place to settle it once and for all.
He couldn't touch me and I have to admit it felt pretty damn good.
Do you live anywhere near Cleveland?
I'm not far from there at all. In fact I used to live in Parma back in the day.
Well dude!! Come up to Lakewood sometime! If I weren't so broke, I'd get my N64 done with a HDMI mod.
STAHP SCREEN LOOKING! MOOOM!