this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
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[–] Skates@feddit.nl 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

First - pretty movie vampires were pretty humans before they got vampired. Second - why in the fuck would a necromancer raise a vampire with free will? Face it 'pretty' boy, you'll be stuck in a cave trying to kill adventurers who never visit. You'll be talking to rats after the first month of solitude. You'll lose your undeath virginity to a lost mountain goat. The first time a girl will be around your cave, she'll notice how it smells like a homeless man who hasn't changed his underwear in years and avoid the cave entirely. You'll feel like spiking yourself in the heart because you had gotten used to the smell, but you won't even be able to do that - you're a necromancer's minion. You have no choice in how you live or die. You're just a smelly guardian of an uninteresting cave.

I'll take undead drake. I'm doing some epic shit before I die, not just guarding some cave.

[–] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Those are a lot of assumptions you're making:

  • No one said the necromancer wanted a minion
  • No one mentioned anything about a smelly cave
  • I never said I'm a boy
  • Maybe I would love the solitude

Anyway, no one said that the necromancer needed a guardian for some smelly cave. I like to think the necromancer got lonely and just wanted a friend to chat with. Even if what you say is true, cave guarding is for low-level chumps like skeletons or ghosts. Vampires are middle-management at least :)

Also, how on earth can you tell me I have to look exactly like I did when I was alive - which is still pretty :P - while you apparently can transform from human corpse to a drake?
Following your rules, the necromancer would be trying to assemble a drake using human bones, creating some weird facsimile of a dragon. The "drake" would spend its time jumping out from behind rocks shouting "blergh", while falling apart at the slightest touch. Wishing some adventurer would put it out of its tortured existence instead of just pointing and laughing.

[–] Skates@feddit.nl 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

while you apparently can transform from human corpse to a drake

Did you just assume my species?

[–] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

Fair enough :)