this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2024
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[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 63 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I'm going to be a lich.

I get the keep my mind and memories, so I'm not some dumb zombie going babbling "brrrrlll" here and there, seeking brains. I'm fairly powerful so I can pull out my own weight, enough to become the necromancer's right arm. And if it comes to the worst I can always backstab the necromancer and become the boss, as typically lichs have their own necromancy.

[–] Zonetrooper@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Objectively the best answer. Plus, as long as you hide your phylactery well, there's not much the necromancer can do to keep you in line.

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 14 points 2 months ago

I'd expect my phylactery to be with the necromancer at the start, for exactly this reason. So I think that a lot of my job in my first days [years?] as an undead is to get their trust so I can: replace my phylactery with a copy, hide the original, and proclaim my independence.

[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 months ago (3 children)

You know you have to feed a soul to your phylactery like every few days. Who’s gonna get got?

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is your Phylactry also a notebook where you write their names?

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 3 points 2 months ago

Yeah. I wish that my phylactery was just "hide it somewhere and pretend that it doesn't exist", but bloody Light doesn't let me have my way, got to write a name every 13 days.

[–] holgersson@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Do souls have sizes, like "you need at least the soul of a medium sized dog or pig"?

Because if every soul is worth equally much, just set an anthill on fire and be done for the foreseeable future.

Of course, as your next course of action, you should make up for the damage done to your local eco system, but that should be doable within the powers and lifespan of a lich.

[–] JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This EcoLich build definitely sounds like the way to go.

[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

Circle of Undeath Druid?

[–] x4740N@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Pedophiles, Rapists and evil people who cannot be reformed

[–] x4740N@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can liches shape-shift, if so I want to become one so I can swap my bodies sex

[–] lvxferre@mander.xyz 2 points 2 months ago

Probably, given that they're good spell casters. You could for example cast "alter self", and look like your desired sex. The main problem is that those spells are typically short-lived, they last minute~hours, so after the time ends you're again a skeleton or decaying corpse.