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I have every reason to be unhappy and resentful, how not to be that? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by Owell1984@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I recently heard a man say, you should not focus on things that make you sad. There are certain things in life that are always gonna suck, there will always be certain things which you can't change, there is no use worrying about them or hating them.

Unfortunately, I am in a system that handicaps human growth, you don't/can't grow up to your full potential when you live in systems like these. I can't leave anytime soon, and the hyper-realization that had I been in a better system that fosters growth, I won't be as miserable (emphasis on the as here) as I am here. I am hyperaware of certain things. Small things, they steal my mental peace, it can be someone honking incessantly on the streets or anything loud or unnecessary at any time of the day. Reddit shows me some weird stuff when I enter it and that distrubs my peace of mind! I have become very sensitive to these things.

I am sorrounded by all things negative in life, I have all the reason in the world to br resentful and ill-tempered, but resentment is a very dangerous thing, I don't want to be resentful. If I can't he happy here, I just want to be in peace! How can I do this? Venting about my situation helps but it's temporary and it seems to be doing more damage than good.

P.S.: Please don't start with how the American system is bad, it probably is, but there are worse things. I will literally be willing to lose a leg to get there. Also, might take sometime to reply, but I deeply appreciate your responses.

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[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 3 months ago

I recommend talk therapy. I think a majority of people could benefit from it, though a smaller ratio of people genuinely need it. I need it. It helps me maintain a sense of balance. I slowly unravel without it. Sounds like it might be helpful for you.

A word of advice in this area: you might need to meet with multiple people before you find the right fit. If it feels off with a person, don't be afraid to shop around to find someone with whom you feel more comfortable. I've had a roughly 50% success rate finding the right fit in decades of therapy. One change was when I moved, one was when a therapist retired. I've had three that were right so far. And I've had three that were clearly not the right fit. Good luck!