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So, from your answer the question "Are you from around here?" would be fine or would it sound to close to "where are you from?" ? I've had similar thoughts about ancestry as to @FlyingSquid, but don't ask. Usually best not to ask if there is a high chance of offending someone.
Honestly don't like terms like "black-Americans", "asian-Americans or "mexican-Americans". I rarely here "white-Americans", they are just Americans. Feels like a way to segregate verbally.
I think "Are you from around here?" has a totally different vibe. It presupposes they might be and that you'll take that as an answer rather than going "no, but where are you really from?"
again speaking only for myself, both "where are you from" and "are you from around here" are similar in that they're not "bad" in and of themselves, unless you're looking for an answer that those questions aren't asking for. the thing that's irksome is not people wanting to know "what kind of asian" i am, but saying "where are you from" with the assumption that the answer will be some asian country ("obviously you're not american" is the implication). just say "what's your family's background" or something similar.
also pro tip, it's not the case for me, but some people get mad when someone assumes "what kind of asian" they are. my dad, who's full japanese, hates it when people just assume he's chinese or korean or anything else. i'm glad i didn't inherit whatever that's all about
I think I know how your dad feels. Growing up in West Coast US I didn't understand why central Americans had such animosity towards being compared or mistaken as Mexican. Then I moved to the south. To my co workers every brown person was Mexican. "hey go ask your little amigo xy or z" was common. "what little amigo?" " The Mexican who's got the keys to the gate" "I don't know that guy. Also, he's Guatemalan. See that flag hanging from his car? It's a Guatemalan flag" I didn't piss me off, but it made me feel a way I haven't felt before and it's not positive. I now get triggered when people just assume I'm Mexican. It says a lot about them and it's not good.
for myself, if someone's going to lump an entire ethnic background into one nationality, then i can already assume they're racist and that's all i need to know. but i never really felt like it's an "insult" to be mistaken for chinese or korean or whatever--those people are people too, and we're all seeing the same racism
Yep, I completely agree. It's not so much an insult because you think less of the people you're being mistaken for. It's an insult that someone would be so ignorant? Racist? That to them color was the only distinguishing characteristic. I found it offensive when they would call the Guatemalans Mexican or literally any brown person. I'm Mexican btw. When I pointed it out it was always dismissed too.