this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2024
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politics

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[–] Laereht@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I promise I'll never say that jd vance violated a couch in a fit of reckless lust ever again.

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Has anyone spoken with the couch? Maybe it's a willing participant in this sexual deviancy. I'm serious, is it even sex if someone uses a latex glove to ejaculate a couch? Do you think he had a name for the couch or was it just a spur of the moment thing? I'm starting to see your point... It was very likely unwanted behavior. Couches are not normally fucked with a latex glove covered cock. It was violated.

I'm not saying JD Vance fucked a couch but if he did it might have been something more serious than is being discussed.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I've reached out to the couch, but it said the trauma was too fresh to be able to open up about it at this time. I respected the will of the couch and left it at that.

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

For some reason I'm reminded of that quote in Altered States: "Sex is a mystical experience for you. You carry on like a flagellant which can be very nice, but l sometimes wonder if it's me that's being made love to. I feel like I'm being harpooned by some raging monk in the act of receiving God."