chapotraphouse

Bringing streetcars and trams back to as many roads as logistically possible

Ban lawns. Like, completely. No more lawns. Having one is a punishable offense. I want children to report their parents on this matter. Merciless enforcement. EVERYONE with ground space MUST have a garden.

Two words: Climate Stalin.

The entire economy will be mobilized to solving the climate crisis, to the point where even finding a job will be a total non-issue. The pigs that are polluting nature to death will pay for all this with every penny they got, they have stolen more value than they can ever stuff down their throats. Oil oligarchs and media talking heads will all be tried at the Hague for crimes against humanity. Many useless treats are going to be banned, and yes, we're coming for your Funko Pops, white boy.

One very important detail and job would be hiring a bunch of artists, architects, designers, etc. I want to ensure that my regime looks aesthetic yet villainous, so whether or not I fail as Climate Stalin, 13 year old boys in the future will look to me and not Prince Nick Fuentes II as the badass supervillain to idolize, and eventually support. Also, the people deserve a much more beautiful world than the one I had to endure.

Oh wait, idiots like Nick Fuentes would be seen as scum because I did a cultural revolution where I beat in that delinquency isn't cool.

I'm too media obsessed for me to fantasize about things that aren't using the position to mandate certain pieces of media be made. Which is kinda dumb so dont put me in power.

I would bring big efforts to resurrect the Irish language by having all sporting events, news broadcasts etc in Irish, having Irish be taught in school before English, having social events where people are expected to speak Irish etc. However this would merely be a Trojan horse for my real goal: slyly take out gendered pronouns from Irish and have everyone's pronouns be gender neutral by default, and only otherwise if specified.

It should be obvious that I'm Irish but we can apply this to any Anglophone country. England speaks Irish now, fuck you

My crank project would be a vast public domain and publicly owned version of the Library of Congress, for literature, movies, shows, games, and pretty much any and all media in danger of being lost to time, copyright bullshit, tax write-off skullduggery, or the like. A big part of that project would be attempts to retrieve and restore media that is already considered lost.

get this every street by law must have a sign saying its street name

also in the same vein as getting rid of the French influences from English I would make the way people in Norfolk speak the official correct way of pronouncing English that or the west country accent so we all sound like pirates

I'd make all detached single-family homes near an urban center illegal and start replacing them all with a combination of low-rise attached units for families, and apartment complexes for people without kids (notionally, I'm fine with some intermixing). Make sure that there are services and amenities within walking distance of all newly-densified housing, and run bus service and light rail everywhere. Then I'd ban private vehicles anywhere within view of a skyscraper. You will live in a pleasant, walkable community with greenspace and accessible services, or you will be sent to the reeducation camps.

Also, big bronze statue in a park. Big enough to provide ample shade to park goers in the summer.

Hobby centers where all of the gear you would need to get started on various hobbies are available for anyone to use on site. Like a library loaded with tools, CNC machines, stuff for knitting, high end computers, art supplies, musical instruments and recording gear, etc. I would limit the ability to take things off-site only to people who cannot visit in person for medical reasons.

The goal is building community and encouraging creating things for fun. It would also promote innovation, art and music, etc, but that would never be the goal, just a nice side effect.

big train

In addition to massive expansion of the north and south American rail systems my megaproject would be a rail link across the Bering Strait to connect AfroEurasia to North and South America. My dream is being able to travel from Cape Horn to Cape Town almost entirely by rail

I would go hard on pushing public nudity as fine. I don't want to be naked in public but human bodies are normal and nothing to he ashamed of.

Americans would fucking hate it but they'll get over it.

I'd pour massive amounts of money into arguably crank Bazinga ideas like Life Extension and proper Nanotech. I'd ban all cars and replace with public transport. Thorium power plants in every house! SPAAAAAAAACCCEEEE!

I'd make massive urban farming and gardening projects regardless of economic viability.

I also have Gaddafi-grade western fashion revival ideas. You will have to dress up for all evening events and no a Tuxedo is not gonna cut it. if you want a vision of the future it's an 1700s dance slipper brushing a human face lightly, forever.

I am also for the French Revolutionary calendar. Happy Basil Day!

a massive cloning facility for bees

I want to de-populate most of the midwest and allow giant herds of buffalo to return to the region.

someone else brought this idea up a couple weeks ago but its been stuck in my brain ever since:

1. seize all gold stores from the wealthy/governments of the world
2. bring the best and brightest computer system engineers and scientists together and develop a new standard of solar-powered computing that emphasizes durability, accessibility, and low power consumption above everything else.
3. melt down all the gold from 1 and use that stockpile to construct public computer services and interfacing devices that are handed out or otherwise available for everyone to use cheaply
4. slowly spin-up new solar-powered datacenters, decommission/cannibalize existing datacenters and sell off those resources to recoup the costs of the project.

thats the view from 10 billion feet up. i think it would be pretty neat.

All golfers must continue to golf, they may not leave the course, they may not stop golfing...

While they're occupied, we finally achieve faster than light interstellar travel. After we all take to the stars, whatever golfers remain shall inherit what is left of the earth.

So many agroecological community gardens, so many communal kitchens, bread ovens, and collective food system infrastructure. All food is now grown in agroforestry systems where the farms are also biodiverse refuges for fauna and flora. I would be the single-minded food dude, like but for mindful food production.

Also, everyone learns (from other people) to forage local herbs and mushrooms.

Sponge Cities!