-One cannot get off more than 4 sentences before becoming incoherent, has been ruled to be unable to be tried due to poor memory, and cannot keep names or places straight

-One thinks humans have a finite amount of energy and has used this as reason to not exercise, claims wind turbines cause cancer

All are pro capitalist, xenophobic, racist, pro war goons

What variety

[–] waluigiblunts@hexbear.net 49 points 6 months ago (1 children)

One thinks humans have a finite amount of energy and has used this as reason to not exercise

has this man never heard of eating

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 31 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You think any of these dullards currently has the intellect to think end to end on anything?

[–] silent_water@hexbear.net 7 points 6 months ago

RFK thinks from one end to the other of that worm, for sure

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 34 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Afroman is running too!

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 33 points 6 months ago

By far the most qualified candidate. gg ez

[–] invo_rt@hexbear.net 19 points 6 months ago

i-voted

[–] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

At least two are rapists as well

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago

That we know about.

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 15 points 6 months ago

Most important election of our lifetime ^Tm^

[–] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 10 points 6 months ago

Not true, you also have increasingly homophobic ancaps, guys who think Trump isn’t racist enough, and two socdems who could’ve just ran a unified campaign if they were smart about this shit

If you’re lucky you might have the PSL (or maybe the prohibition party if your state is awful enough and you’ve lost everything you have to irony poisoning)

[–] KoboldKomrade@hexbear.net 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I legitimately cannot tell which one is which (only somewhat joking).

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 19 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Come on Jack, it's your duty as a member of the voting public to know the candidates

Biden was NOT technically 'declared unfit to stand trial' as every liberal publication screamed about, but the special counsel did say this:

Hur’s report referred numerous times to Biden’s memory as “limited,” claiming the 81-year-old did not remember the dates of his vice presidency and when his son Beau died

“At trial, Mr Biden would likely present himself to a jury, as he did during our interview of him, as a sympathetic, well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory”...“It would be difficult to convince a jury that they should convict him — by then a former president well into his eighties — of a serious felony that requires a mental state of willfulness.”

I dunno, there's a pretty thin line between 'able to credibly convince people he is unable to stand trial' and 'is actually unable to stand trial'

Trump thought people worked like energizer batteries

Trump believed the human body was like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted

Also claims the noise from wind power causes cancer

If you have a windmill anywhere near your house, congratulations, your house just went down 75 percent in value. And they say the noise causes cancer

So which one will it be, the one who had a worm eating his brain, the one who is essentially considered unfit to stand trial due to memory issues, or the one who thinks people are like D cell batteries?

[–] Pentacat@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago

Capitalism leads to great variety due to its superior innovation.

[–] sisatici@hexbear.net 72 points 6 months ago (2 children)

AND IT'S A DEAD WORM? I BET THE POOR GUY STARVED TO DEATH HAHAHAHA

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 32 points 6 months ago

farnsworth

[–] Assian_Candor@hexbear.net 10 points 6 months ago

Roasted

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 52 points 6 months ago

Folks the fake news comm exists for a re-

Wait WHAT? Literal brainworms is an actual headline? blocky-wat

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 51 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Three presidential candidates with serious brain health issues and are all nearly indistinguishable from each other on policy. Don't you love democracy joker-amerikkklap

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 49 points 6 months ago

I think it's time to take satire out back and shoot it. It can't keep up.

[–] IlliterateOphthalmologist@hexbear.net 48 points 6 months ago

they starved to death lmao gottem

[–] TrashGoblin@hexbear.net 41 points 6 months ago

I knew he had brain worms, but not literal brain worms. Though it looks like the mercury poisoning did more actual damage.

[–] ProfessorAdonisCnut@hexbear.net 31 points 6 months ago

Jair Bolsonaro eat your heart out

[–] PaulSmackage@hexbear.net 26 points 6 months ago

What did the worm think was going to happen when it crawled into the head of a Kennedy.

[–] RagingGingivitis@hexbear.net 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)

archive link to the article so you can avoid supporting the transphobic New York Times: https://web.archive.org/web/20240508143804/https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/08/us/rfk-jr-brain-health-memory-loss.html

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Leon_Frotsky@hexbear.net 25 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

He got a brain eating parasite and it literally starved to death lmao hahaha

[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 23 points 6 months ago

adding the keyword 'rfk' to brainworms brb

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago

Welp time to close up shop at the ol' jokes factory, we're out of business.

[–] Moss@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

God it would be so funny if there was no article. If he just said this to the press and didn't elaborate. No body, just the headline "man has brainworms"

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago

"Had brain worms but they died"

[–] geese_feces@hexbear.net 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

i guess his yeerk couldn't get to the kandrona pools

[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago

[–] NoLeftLeftWhereILive@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago

And here I was thinking that libs having brainworms is just a figure of speech.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Imagine writng for The Onion with a reality like this.

[–] Pentacat@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago

Their benefits team needs to include 90 days per year of drug and alcohol rehab, because I assume everyone has to get wasted constantly to make things make sense.

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

How'd he get a brain parasite?

[–] silent_water@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago

liberalism

[–] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 13 points 6 months ago

The joke writes itself.

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 13 points 6 months ago

Dude is speedrunning Baldur's Gate.

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago

Holy shit it's real

[–] Magician@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago

I thought they used ivermectin for this.

[–] Leon_Frotsky@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

RFK Jr mentioned, deploy the Mussolini gif

[–] Des@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago

seems like that's all that guy had isn't it? just being really animated and clownish in a time when most news was a fast talking guy over black and white?