Casual Conversation

Put it wherever TF the socks go that disappear after doing laundry. You’ll never see it again.

It's April now.... I'd take a small piece of wood from garage, drill small hole, straighten paperclip and place inside, seal with wood putty, draw crude image of a holiday present on wood with Sharpie, poorly write "merry x-mas mommy, 1986, 2nd grade" on it, rub "ornament" on floor a bit to age, drill hole near top edge, place ornament hook and twist and reshape to mock years of use, bury it in the Christmas ornament box up in the rafters of the garage.

In the sock dimension.

shove it in my ass

....allllllllllllll the way up

In a box of similar looking paperclips

Eat it

Pull a kitchen drawer open all the way and stick it to the bottom of the granite with a bit a blu-tack

Stick it in the dirt of one of the 130 plants in my place

I straighten the paper clip and sound it

Does the paperclip need to stay in shape?

Since others have taken the in-their-ass approach already: inside my microphone. The end unscrews, which isn't really obvious unless you fuck with it. I used to hide my prescriptions in there to get them past room checks at my old boarding school.

Put it in a box with other paperclips on my office desk.

Straighten it, cut it into as many tiny pieces as possible with wire cutters for 4 minutes, then spend the last minute spreading them around random places in the carpet, vents, lawn, etc.

I'll assume the detective can use an x-ray device so I guess somewhere it won't stand out.

Maybe jam it into the frame if a sliding window.

Maybe into the body of the old wood stove.

Maybe jammed into the basket of the subwoofer.

Maybe wrapped inside a bayonet cap of a light bulb.

Maybe poked into a tube of the metal bed frame.

Maybe wedged into the mechanism of an old vcr.

Maybe in a gap between two corrugated iron sheets on the roof.

I dunno.

I'll hide a bunch of them at different places along with the target. So that they lose confidence or keep looking for similar places every time they find the wrong ones.

Depends wether I need to find it later myself. If yes then I'd probably remove a baseboard and put it behind it next to the nail so you can't even use a metal detector. If I don't need to find it then I'd drop it down the crack under my bathroom doorstep which leads to the subfloor space where you're never going to find it again.

Eat it. There's only so much that fits on a paperclip.

My partner has lots of jewelry and wire-wrapped things so... turn it into a wire-wrap piece and mix it up with the other few thousand.

My man, if you can sort through all of that in 24 hours AND find the paper clip you can keep the 10k

I just drop it in one of my "unsorted stuff" drawers.
I don't have to be able to find it again to claim the money, right?

slip it in the vent of a random heavy appliance like the fridge

In my jean jacket pocket. I could just move around with it.

Down a plastic drain pipe. Fish it out with a magnet on string 24 hours later.

3d print a flower pot with a pause in the job. Drop the clip in a cavity in the vase with some glue so it doesn't rattle around, resume the print job to finish and seal it inside, put some plants in there.

Buy 10,000 paperclips and scatter them throughout the house. Hide the target one somewhere obscure. It'll take more than 24 hours for him to find the exact right one.

I don't know how plumbing works, but I think this would work:

I'd empty the hair from my hairbrush, tangle the paperclip in it and put the clump down my shower drain. Hair clump keeps it from draining away keeping it "in my house." Retrieve after with one of those spikey stick snake things. Spend the remaining 3 minutes touching other hiding places to throw the detective off the scent.

If that doesn't count as in the house I'd probably just slip it into a pocket of a coat in my closet. I doubt they'd think to check every pocket of every item of clothing. They're probably checking all the vents and window panels and little holes in my walls, and I don't think they'd catch me because I go in my closet a lot so it's not like I've disturbed dust to go in there during the 5 minutes.

Taped to my balls.

In my home? Probably in a fruit.

unscrew a screw from the wall, put it in some spare space behind it, screw again

They'll have to go through me to get it, because I'm eating it.