this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 84 points 7 months ago (3 children)

do you have what it takes to dig five touchscreens menus deep in size ten font to engage the emergency brake as you accelerate uncontrollably towards a bus full of nuns

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 36 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You try to engage the parking break in the tablet menu, but it's actually an Easter egg that changes the horn sound to Duke Nuken saying "I've got balls of steel"

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 19 points 7 months ago

Shortly before the crash, you think "nice prank, my good sir"

The ensuing fire from the lithium battery burns down 3 blocks and an orphanage

[–] FloridaBoi@hexbear.net 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Lmfao I saw that the 2024 model 3 forces you to use the touchscreen to go engage Drive and Reverse by swiping up or down, respectively, on the left edge of the screen. Those mfs also put turn signals on a little thumb pad on the face of the left spoke of the steering wheel instead using a stalk like every car since 1930

[–] medium_adult_son@hexbear.net 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The Nintendo Switch Joy-Con drift problem, except it's on your steering wheel and you will get pulled over by a cop or rear-ended when it stops working.

[–] FloridaBoi@hexbear.net 6 points 7 months ago

Never get into a Tesla should be a trueanon rule if it isn’t already

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 12 points 7 months ago

this would be a good mobile game ala Defuse the Bomb

[–] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 44 points 7 months ago

You have the helm, good sir steering-device

[–] Crowtee_Robot@hexbear.net 44 points 7 months ago

Totally normal and safe thing for a totally normal, well-designed, vehicle.

[–] goose@hexbear.net 34 points 7 months ago

Good news! We’ve found a way to make the self-driving mode safer than manual driving

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 31 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

video - https://twitter.com/EoinHiggins_/status/1779612564579647789

It's 1:43 long. You might have to find the vid later if "due to a technical error" Elon has the tweet removed from Twitter.

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Edit

Tesla owners always sound like they are doing a bit.

The original upload

el.chepito (@el.chepito1985) has created a short video on TikTok with music original sound.

Every Cybertruck owner is like I paid 80k for this and it almost killed my entire family. Small issue. Love the car!!

it was actually $122k

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Why is this not surprising at all

because every new car had small issues. just this one happens to be dangerous

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 17 points 7 months ago

Hmm I wonder if some sort of thing could prevent people from selling dangerous lemons... some sort of reg-gu-layshuns

Guess we'll never knew

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 31 points 7 months ago

Tesla Cybertruck Deliveries Reportedly Halted | Investor's Business Daily

Tesla (TSLA) has halted Cybertruck deliveries, according to social media chatter, possibly to address a problem with the accelerator pedal. [...] Tesla does not have a media relations department, and often doesn't disclose key news to the public. [...] On Saturday, noted Tesla influencer @wholemarsblog wrote on Elon Musk's X that "Tesla has stopped all Cybertruck deliveries for 7 days due to an issue with the accelerator pedal."

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 30 points 7 months ago

Going 85 through a 10 zone for children like a gentle epic sir

[–] PointAndClique@hexbear.net 29 points 7 months ago

Is this loss

[–] FanonFan@hexbear.net 28 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Permanent acceleration

The world isn't ready for a nick land Trotsky synthesis

[–] SkibidiToiletFanAcct@hexbear.net 26 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Discovery of the Epstein Drive.

[–] CascadeOfLight@hexbear.net 21 points 7 months ago

Computer, engage Clinton Override, code phrase "Stained Blue Dress".

Locate nearest pond. Disable limiters. Maximum speed.

[–] SteamedHamberder@hexbear.net 19 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This is just what Elwood Blues does to the “Good Ol’ Boys’” Winnebago.

[–] VHS@hexbear.net 10 points 7 months ago

In this case the gas pedal might benefit from some of that glue. (Strong stuff.)

[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 13 points 7 months ago
[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 11 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

automated deathbox mode engaged

[–] NewLeaf@hexbear.net 7 points 7 months ago

Are there just not any regulations for anything? These cars have been getting people killed for how long now?

[–] PeePeePooPooPeee@hexbear.net 6 points 7 months ago

You can't convince me that's not just a spatula.

[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 5 points 7 months ago
[–] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 5 points 7 months ago (2 children)

natural selection at work. The type of guy to drive one of these is likely the type of guy to have some abhorrent views on things. Theyre just removing themselves from the gene pool i guess.

[–] lengau@midwest.social 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Unfortunately they're more likely to remove innocent pedestrians from the gene pool.

[–] PostyourJaggaHogs@hexbear.net 8 points 7 months ago

Based on how there's no crumple zones in this monument to conservative dweebshit I'd say it's less than even odds on any of these assholes surviving a crash lmao