OP here. Thanks for all your input! It’s really an embarrasment of riches which will take me some time to navigate. But thats part of the fun, right? Again, thanks everyone.
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Coming from a decade of vmware esxi and then a few years certified Nutanix, I was almost instantly at home clustering proxmox then added ceph across my hosts and went 'wtf did I sell Nutanix for'. I was already running FreeNAS later truenas by then so I was already converted to hosting on Linux but seriously I was impressed.
Business case: With what you save on licensing for Nutanix or vsan, you can place all nvme ssd and run ceph.
I'm moving to oVirt.
Proxmox was out and oVirt was an excellent fit.
Choose carefully ; don't just go with the herd.